For a moment, allow yourself to be still. Observe your mind’s movements⸺your thoughts and memories ebbing, flowing or sticking, distractions and reactions. How long can you sit, unwavering?
Often, when left to our own devices, we can tend toward feeling bored, and start looking for external stimuli like making a phone call, scrolling social media, checking emails etc. For many of us, the internal and external discomforts are so much that we find it impossible to sit without distractions. Breath and meditation are practices that can help us to feel more at ease in our own presence, and with others.
A few years ago, as a gift for finishing university, my partner sent me to a silent meditation retreat. Friends and family chuckled when I told them because I talk for a living and I am quite the extrovert. But off I went to a small gulf island to begin my ten day silent journey. We were instructed that eye contact was prohibited, as well as reading and writing, and that we were to stay in silence at all times. Zero distractions.
At first I felt like screaming, crying, laughing, running, anything to escape the harrowing silent sitting practice. I felt excruciating pain in my knees, hips and head, and a woman nearby kept making the most annoying sounds with her flickering toes. I felt trapped. Only to realize with time that I was trapped inside my own self-defeating thinking patterns. I was also trapped because of my conditioning. I had thought that my best self was a doer, a productive human moving efficiently through society’s prescription. But when I was forced to stop doing, I felt anxious, useless and on the run, whilst sitting amongst others who were seemingly meditating, and at ease.
It took 5 days of internal agony before I felt a jolt of peace. I want to say that there are no words to describe this moment, but I will try. I felt a sense of ease, comfort and wellness, like nothing mattered. I did not ever want to leave this island and this newly found harmony. And the recognition that nobody could have given me this feeling but myself was a gift. I was going to be ok. And what’s more, I became aware of the fact that I could choose to feel like this whenever I wanted to. Maybe I could feel like this most, or all of the time.
Because of life’s events and the pandemic restrictions, I have not done a silent retreat since. However, that one retreat felt like a whole body and mind reset. Now when I feel myself getting elevated, I know that somewhere within, the answer is always there. It piqued my interest in spirituality and started me on the path towards teaching yoga and mindfulness.
What I learned is that, although we live in a world busy with distractions and the sense of having to be accomplishing something at all times, if we find time to sit in silence, undistracted from external and internal stimuli for long enough, we can find a sense of ease.
What if, between our daily activities, we built in buffers, transitions, that allowed us to slow down? Perhaps simply coming to sit in silence and stillness for a few moments? A mini reset?
I challenge you to find a couple of easy transitions in your day. Maybe after you drop the kids at school, you could sit in the car for an extra three minutes to practice a short breath focused meditation. Or after cleaning up dinner, you might find five minutes for a mindfulness meditation practice.
Finding time and space for this practice can be a helpful tool in everyday life. You might find that it helps you in the moments when you’re not feeling so Zen, like when a car cuts you off, or a co-worker makes a snarky comment. When the mind can be still and spacious, you can come into a state of action, rather than reaction.
During your next transition, try this simple but powerful meditation. Bring your focus to your breath and where the breath lands in your body. Bring intention to the sides and back of your ribs, letting your belly rise and fall naturally. Inhale for 4 seconds, hold for 2, exhale for 6 and hold for 2. Repeat this sequence for 3-5 minutes and notice how you feel. You can adjust the seconds if it does not feel good in your body, e.g.: inhale for 2, hold for 1, exhale for 4, hold for 1.
You can also download the App Insight Timer to keep track of your meditations. And there are many free guided meditations online, as well as meditation apps you can download to your device.
Make time to slow down. Next time you feel bored, mindfully put away your phone and just be in your own presence, undistracted. Keep making this a challenge, and notice the changes.
Jessilyn Chiasson OT, Reg. (BC)
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